About big secrets and feather pillows
by Ainsel3
Summary: Percy remembered the day, ten years before, he had met Nico's family. He had waved his arm towards Hades – just alighted from his car, upset because Nico had thrown up in the vehicle – to warn him that his new home was cursed. A memory that could become a nice fact to tell during family dinners, but Percy thought that it was the beginning of Hade's everlasting aversion towards him
1. feather pillow

_I know that someone was waiting for updates of other fiction. You will find a comprehensive explanation in the author's notes._

_Anyway I hope that this story will please you_

* * *

And yet, the day seemed to have started well.

The previous afternoon, his stepmother had returned dejected from the supermarket with the news that the whole grains were finished, so that morning he finally had the chance, after years, to have breakfast with toasted bread, butter and jam. He arrived to school punctual, the math's test went pretty good and during lunch Percy sat beside him instead than with his swim team.

Actually, everything had been pretty perfect until now, so Nico ended up to react in a particular irritated way at the big obstacle that he was facing.

«Sorry, freak. I didn't see you.»

«Buy some glasses, stupid elephant.»

Nico thought that the air around them seemed to have suddenly become full of pinned breathes.

On one hand, this gave him a huge satisfaction that helped him to forget the pain on the shoulder, right there where he had hit the locker, and the strong humiliation of having been pushed there by the brute who didn't even bothered to look at him before striking him.

On the other hand, instead, he was pissed knowing that the people in the hallway were thinking that he had to be a fool to speak back at the offence. He was tempted to blurt out that it was inexcusable _not_ to answer to an attack, even if it came from someone who was twice as big as you, but he didn't get the chance to do so, because the guy grabbed him from the collar of the sweater.

«How did you call me?» he growled.

Nico was absolutely sure to be right, but in all sincerity he believed himself a little masochist in repeating the insult all over again.

«Elephant, or pachyderm if you like it better. In all fairness, the heaviest animal in the world is the blue whale, but I don't think that calling somebody a whale is so sharp.»

Honestly, Nico realized that spending time showing his wide knowledge about the animal world was out of place, but he found it hard to believe that, by saying that he found interesting National Geographic, he could actually worsen his reputation in the high school.

The guy blinked a couple of times, floored by that answer, then he decided that he didn't care about understanding his words so he just pushed Nico against the lockers one more time, without listening to him. He refused to give him the satisfaction of hearing his laments: he preferred to bit his lips until they bleed than to make a sound when his punch stroke him on the cheek. He couldn't avoid to stumble, sure that an explosion of Bengal light in front of him would cause him the very same sensation.

«I'll ask again: how did you call me?»

Nico swallowed and felt the metallic taste of blood in his mouth. Then, he answered in the stupidest way he could find.

«You're right, I should have called you with you name. I apologize, Polyphemus.»

Nico didn't even consider that the big, bad, dull football player – the prototype of those of his category, according to him – could know the Cyclops, and surely not the one in the Odyssey. The thought made him look at him with disdain, and the result of that look was a second punch, painful as the first one.

At that point, Nico would have understood that the situation was going to degenerate even if he hadn't had an almost five-years-long experience at this. He needed only a few second to see that there weren't professors around them, and he didn't need to look around to know that, in that moment, his bodyguard – he hated when his sister Bianca used that word, even if he knew that it was right – were at their coaching.

So, he clenched his teeth and gave up.

* * *

«Nico, what the hell happened to your face?»

He looked askance at the boy who was staring at him with an expression between upset and angry, but he didn't answer. He continued slowly shuffling the cards that were spread in front of him, ignoring the ironic glances of the other occupants of the library and of those who were around him. The latter, especially.

«Percy, check you language!»

«Annabeth, does this seem the moment?»

«It's always the moment not to talk as a truck driver.»

The boy lifted his eyes to the sky, but then did as she ordered. He approached Nico and forced him to look up by snatching a card from his hand. This action, if that had been a rare card, would have been the best way to become a cripple; he knew that, but he decided to risk it.

«Could you please tell me what happened to your face?» he corrected himself while he was standing up.

«Give me that!»

«First, you tell me why the hell you have a black eye. Holy smoke, you seem to have just come out from a boxing match!»

«What do you think happened?» Nico retorted acidly.

Percy already knew that he lacked in patience, but that patience became scarcer by the minute now that he was worried and contrived. Consequently, Nico's behavior made him want to get angry with him. Then, he was forced to admit that his sarcasm had some kind for logic. After all, it was not a secret to anybody that every bully of the school had laid an eye on him, not discouraged by the fact that he and Jason were his friend.

As if he had read into his mind, Nico emphasized his frown.

«Just because I'm not tall and a whole _oh-my-god-what-an-athlete_ as the two of you, it doesn't mean I'm inferior!» he explained with anger.

«I didn't say anything!» Jason complained, feeling implicated by his words even if he didn't do anything but enclose Piper's shoulders with an arm and look apologetic at Nico until that moment.

«And I never considered you in that way» Percy said. «I'm just saying that, objectively, according to the natural law of the American high schools, you are what a lame gazelle is in the savannah.»

When he saw his brother's eyes throw flashes at him, surely not calmed down by that inspired metaphor, Bianca made an exasperated sigh. She was angry because of Nico's inability to come home without a livid or two each week, too, but at the same time she wanted to shake him and to make him realize his guilty part in these events.

«The point is that you're an incurable nerd» Annabeth stated without mince words, giving voice to Bianca's unspoken thoughts, that Percy shared too. «Let's ignore your physical appearance, since you're just in the first year and it would be unfair to compare you to those in the last year» she ignored the eloquent way in which Jason cleared his throat; he didn't want to be brutal by saying how surreal it would be to imagine Nico, now a skinny sixteen-years-old boy, as a future portly eighteen-years-old. «The problem» she continued «it's what you do.»

«And what is that I do?» Nico asked.

«You almost only wear black» Annabeth answered.

«You play cards during your lunch time» Bianca added, making it clear of what she thought of her brother's hobbies.

«You know all the attack and defense points of all your cards» Piper said.

«That is _creepy_» Jason added, leaning of his girlfriend's words.

Nico could have been grateful to Percy, who didn't pile it on him, but he was so upset because of that group attack that he couldn't rejoice with the fact that the person who he cared about the most didn't criticized him. He regret instead the absence of his other sister, Hazel, less severe and more understanding than Bianca, and of her boyfriend.

«Frank plays with Mythomagic, too!» he exclaimed.

«Frank only has a basic set that he brought when he was in middle school» Bianca corrected him. «You have all the expansions existing in the world. I still don't understand how you got your hands on the African one, that only a few nerds in the world will have.»

«Ebay's magic» Nico groaned.

Even if Percy agreed with everybody else and was sure that they acted in good faith and with the desire to help him, he started to get upset at the sight of Nico under that shower of critics. With a small sigh, he returned the card that he was holding, lingering with his look on his livid face.

«Let's go to the infirmary» he ordered.

While Nico grumbled something that nobody could understand, Bianca stood up to follow them, but Jason stopped her, placing a hand over her shoulder. She gave him a perplexed look and he answered with an eloquent one, who made Piper roll her eyes to the sky. Bianca read between the lines too, and, differently from her friend, nodded in sign of understanding.

Nico saw the whole scene and, if this made him grit his teeth, when Jason gave him an encouraging gesture with his hand, he glared badly at him.

«Come on, Nico» Percy incited him, without realizing anything.

«Yeah, Nico, go.»

This time Jason didn't talk, because Piper had plunged her nails in his arm. So he waited for Percy and Nico to get away, noticing that the older one had place his arm around the other's shoulders, before turning towards her. He tried to protest, but she preceded him.

«Do you realize that you are becoming a gossiper?» she accused him. «I can understand that when you discovered Nico's crush on Percy you were moved but…»

«Actually, I was scared» he corrected her. «Seriously, Piper. Nico is scary when you touch certain subjects. That I know of, these are only Percy and his cards. Mostly Percy, I hope.»

«I hope that too» Bianca agreed.

Piper looked skeptical at her boyfriend; she couldn't imagine a skinny boy like Nico that was frightening a tall and strong basketball player. Then she shrugged her shoulders, giving him the benefit of the doubt, and returned at the interesting point of the subject.

«Anyway, you should stop to push him in this irresponsible way» she told him. «I noticed his feelings from the first moment that I saw him looking at Percy, but I think you realize that he doesn't have a chance.»

«I wouldn't be so sure.»

While he was listening to the reproaches of the girl, Jason started to be afraid that, by encouraging Nico to step up, he was actually pushing him down a cliff; so he received Annabeth's words with joy.

«See, she says it too» he said, victorious.

Piper ignored him, and look perplex at the girl. Feeling observed by her and Bianca, without changing her calm expression, Annabeth shrugged her shoulders as if it was all perfectly logical.

«I hang out with Percy and Nico since kindergarten» she said. «Our families are friends, maybe for their inclination to the particular situation of the couples» she cough discreetly, implying that the Di Angelo family, in all their divorces and marriages, was the most impressive. «So I think of the two of them as my brothers and I can say to know them very well» she continued. «I can't be the one to say if Percy's feelings will allow any romantic implications, but I know that he always had a particular interest for Nico.»

Bianca nodded at her speech.

She gave up feeling offended because of the insinuation regarding her family, forced to admit that her father went beyond himself by having three children with two different women – at the beginning she could accept Hazel's presence at home, but now she was used to that minor stepsister with the amber skin – and the marrying another woman who gave him a hateful mother-in-law. In comparison, the Jacksons and the Chases were ordinary, with their different marriages: three for Percy's mother and two for Annabeth's father.

Bianca nodded, but she had a hard time believing that Percy could see Nico as something more than a minor brother to protect. Instead, Jason agreed with strength.

«If Annabeth says so, it must be true» he said.

«You stay out of it, anyway» Piper insisted. «Really, Jason. Maybe you didn't notice, but Nico hates your continuous allusions. Frankly, I would hate them too, if I was at his place. You don't have the tact to be a Cupid.»

«Cupid is not famous for his discretion, after all, he is an attack character, not a defense one» he commented.

When he realized to be observed by three pairs of shocked eyes, Jason blushed and cleared his throat. «Nico wanted to show me his new set of cards and we played a little» he explained.

If Annabeth was enough polite to pretend she never heard anything, he realized that Bianca was ready to attack him to make him remember that he should push Nico into having normal hobbies instead than supporting him into his strange fixations. Piper gave him a sweet smile, but the boy had learned that it was a signal of danger, so he shook her hand and assured her that he would never spend his Saturday night talking of Mythomagic.

Then Piper smiled again, sincerely this time, and he kept a relieved sigh. He loved her, with all his heart, but seeing her angry frightened him, almost as much as Nico did.

* * *

After seeing that his insistent questions didn't get an answer, Percy quit trying to make Nico say the name of the guy with whom he wanted to have a long chat. He still wanted it, even if he knew that it was just a vicious cycle to get even with those bullies who had the greatest fun in the fights, but Nico's "mind your own business" dissuaded him.

So he limited himself to watch him while he nodded to the doctor's recommendations and put an ice bag over his eye. He didn't realized how worried he seemed, so Nico's exasperated reproached surprised him.

«Percy, you must stop standing behind me as a watchdog!» he exclaimed.

«Because you don't need any help, right?»

«Of course.»

Percy bit his lip to hold back a harsh reply, even if he knew that, by supporting Nico's childish intractability, he would end up in an unproductive circle of irritation. He was amazed of the way in which he maintained his positions when he had clearly already understood that those positions would have made his high school life a continuous struggle for survive. He was amazed that Nico, with a black eye and a cleft lip, didn't let anybody see his weaknesses.

Percy didn't know if he had to consider him brave or crazy for that, but he surely admired him. And he was also feeling the need to protect him, a need that he never felt in such an intense way since he was only a child.

«You should learn to be more flexible» he said, slowly. «I'm not asking you to give up the things that you like, just to show them with moderation.»

«Moderation? That's impressing! Did you leaf through the dictionary to use sophisticated terms this morning? I thought you couldn't read it!»

Nico looked away when he realized, seeing Percy's expression, that he reacted badly to what should have been a funny joke. He established to have made an unhappy comment since Percy always suffered for his dyslexia and he regretted to have made it with someone who cared so much about him – he decided to ignore that this someone was the guy he loved, or he would have felt too much stupid – but he didn't manage to apologize.

Nico watched Percy approaching the exit of the infirmary, making it clear that he intended to leave him alone, and with a last-minute jump he grabbed his arm and stopped him.

«I just had a close encounter with the modern Polyphemus» he blurt out. «I hurt everywhere and tonight I will have to bear my stepmother's mother who will remember my father how, at her times, the weak boys were forced to hoe the ground to become stronger. Then, tomorrow there will be PE: I'm ridicule when I am okay, you can figure how I will be tomorrow. So, please, can you not get angry if I am more irritable than usual?»

«You know that it would have been a lot easier if you just apologized, don't you?»

«You have known me for sixteen years, you should know that I can't do that.»

Percy grumbled something in a low voice, apparently still irritated but according to Nico pleased again. He was relieved but managed not to show it, aware that he wouldn't have been able to stand another fight with Percy that day.

«It would have been like losing ten important cards all together.»

Nico realized that he had talked in a too clear whisper because Percy hit him in the front and looked harshly at him.

«This is the moderation that I was talking about» he scold him. «Does it seems normal to you to compare your situation with a game? Sometimes, you give me the impression that your real life is just an annoyance for your fantasy cards life.»

«Interesting definition.»

Nico shut up when he understood that Percy was ready to give him another blow, stronger than the first one. Then he had the impression of hearing Jason voice inside his head: he was telling him to say something embarrassing, for example that his real life was worth it only if Percy would have been beside him. Nico shook that idea, aware that he had blushed, and he decided to ask Piper to try and stop her boyfriend from playing Cupid.

He cleared his voice to find the calm again, knowing that Percy could never imagine his thoughts, then he tried a more delicate version of what he had in mind.

«You are not an annoyance» he said.

«I'm happy to hear that» replied Percy, annoyed. «Seriously, Nico, I am moved.»

Despite his irony, he put an arm around his shoulders again. Nico wondered if Percy acted like that because he wanted everybody in the hallway to see it and transmit the message that he was looking after him, but when the doubt became a certainty he gave up saying that he didn't want him to be his bodyguard.

Nico didn't want to start again that discussion, but he decided to begin another one, just as old as the previous one.

«Talking about cards. Let's suppose that I do not escape reality and everything else, I just bought a new expansion with all the minor gods» he said.

«Interesting» Percy answered, with a detached tone.

Nico leered at him, aware that he was ignoring the silent question between them. Sometimes, that detachment of Percy was enough to discourage him, but now Nico would have insisted even if Percy was going to tell him that he was not interested.

«Will you play with me?» he asked.

Percy knew that moment was going to come since Hazel, some days before, had told him that a strange package had arrived from Canada for her brother. So he wasn't surprised, but he was disappointed that Nico chose to ask him when he couldn't possibly deny it. Percy found it difficult to refuse him a favor in ordinary circumstances; if he was having a blubber face, the chances to avoid interminable hours of explanations about attack points were almost nonexistent.

«One match» he warned him. «You understand? Only one.»

«As you wish» Nico answered with his obliging tone that he used only when he was absolutely satisfied about something.

Percy felt like he had been played, but he ended up shutting his mouth without making any protest.

* * *

Annabeth used to say that Percy, the Di Angelo family and her were neighbors since forever, but if she would wanted to be more precise, she would have to say that the Jacksons and the Chases lived on that tree-lined road since before their children were born, while Hades Di Angelo had moved there with his third wife, her mother and her three children during the winter in which Annabeth and Percy turned six.

They were in the garden making a snowman when, with their eyes and mouth wide open, they saw a moving van stop in front of their nightmares' house. Percy's older brother had told them that it was spellbound. And Triton was older than them, he was able to ride his bike without his helmet, so it had to be true.

«Earth to Percy: are you here?»

Nico's impatient voice shook him from his thought, in which he had fallen when he saw his house. He smiled, remembering the little boy he had been: that day he had waved his arm towards Hades – he had just alighted from his car, upset because Nico had thrown up in the vehicle – to warn him that he couldn't possibly move into that cursed house.

A memory that could become a nice fact to tell during family lunches, but Percy thought that it was the beginning of Hade's everlasting aversion towards him.

«Your father lacks in sense of humor» he said, finishing his thoughts out loud.

Nico, who had already grabbed his keys and was ready to open the front door, looked at him, confused.

«My father is a funeral director who has decided to live in the older house of the city, a masterpiece of gothic architecture which seems to have come out from a horror movie» he replied. «I think this is humor.»

Percy couldn't deny that there was a part of truth in what he said. He avoid to clarify that, if it was humor, it was surely macabre. He observed the house, with is hardwood porch and the shingles covered in ivy, and commented that it was legitimate for the children to be afraid.

«And your father's work doesn't help to improve his reputation» he concluded.

«I suppose so» Nico agreed, but he didn't seem to really care about it.

Percy choose not to speak about it again. He limited himself to shut up and follow him inside, grateful that in there Persefone Di Angelo's floral taste had the best on her husband's dark one. It were almost too many flowers, but Percy thought that it was the lesser evil that in the doorway there was a huge posy of dahlias and orchids.

Nico tried to bring Percy upstairs quickly to avoid Demeter, but they hadn't done but few steps that the woman stood in front of them, with a ladle in her hand and a severe look on her face.

«Hi, granny» Nico said, with such an unenthusiastic tone that Percy was surprised that the old lady hadn't noticed that.

Instead, she stared critical at her grandchild, ignoring his wounds with a gesture of her head and the usual gabble about the necessity of a life in the fields. She didn't say anything else and Nico was careful not to speak, so she turned her attention to Percy.

«Have you any preference for dinner?» she asked.

«Ma'am, I actually…»

«We'll eat couscous» Demeter interrupted him, deaf both at his attempt to explain that he wasn't planning on staying for dinner and to Nico's moan after hearing the menu.

This time he tried to speak, and from his expression it didn't seem to be something nice, but the woman was already on her way to the other room: the kitchen, as Percy knew, where she reigned despite her daughter's attempts to approach the burners.

Once they were alone, Nico turned towards his friend.

«Bianca and Hazel are glad of that woman's obsession with a biological diet, because it helps them to stay in shape» he commented piercingly. «While I, as a consequence, can't wear clothes that other sixteen years old would find small.»

Percy sighed before putting a hand on his head. He always liked his hair, so thick and black, and now he liked to mess them up.

«You're good just as you are» he said, serious.

«Pale, skinny and moody?»

«And with a singular ability in self-analysis.»

After much hesitation, Percy managed to say more seriously that there was really nothing wrong about his appearance. He would never be an athlete and the girls would never stare at him during swimming classes, but Percy shared with his mother the idea that Nico was fascinating in a singular way. Even if he was thin, his physique was proportionate, and the face with regular lineaments emphasized his eyes: the biggest and darkest that he had ever seen, with the iris which almost melt in the pupils in a black stain. Intense eyes, and Percy didn't deny that they were capable of making people tense. Sometimes they made him tense.

As soon as he thought that, he managed to change the argument.

«It seems like I would be eating here tonight» he said, trying to distract himself.

«It seems so.»

«When will Bianca and Hazel be back?»

Nico found himself in an annoying situation where he couldn't possibly say the truth, not when by doing this, he would have to inform Percy that his dear, beloved and maddening sisters have decided to stay away all the afternoon, so that they could be alone. Hazel with sincere involvement, Bianca with ill-concealed skepticism but also with the pragmatic consideration that it wouldn't hurt her brother.

«Hazel had something to do with Frank» he said, aware that he was only half-lying. «I think Bianca is at her archery club.»

Percy nodded, satisfied with the answer, and follow Nico when he approached his bedroom. The wood ladder squeaked at their transit, a sinister noise of which Bianca had complained a lot. Nico, instead, seemed to be perfectly comfortable, so lightweight that his steps didn't make any noise.

Percy found himself fascinated by that characteristic, almost too much fascinated, for a series of motivations at which he had given a lot of thought in the last year, with rising agitation. For a start, he was pretty sure to prefer the cheerleaders' skirt to his friends' swimsuit, so it was problematic that sometimes Nico's eyes made him forget that he was like a little brother to him.

Nico looked perplex at Percy when he heard him moan and he prefer not to comment, noticing that he had the expression of someone who was going to hit the wall with his head. He entered his room alone, leaving him the time to calm down and solve his problem, whatever it was. In the meantime, he kneeled down to extract the cards from the last drawer of the dresser that his sister bought him – _green_, because he liked _green_ stuff, Hazel said – hesitating on the choice of the set to use.

Percy managed to calm down, put back those inappropriate thoughts and follow him, while he was still unsure of the choice. Deciding not to interrupt him, Percy started to look around - happy that, despite everyone's fears, Nico's bedroom was just fine – until his gaze saw something that he remembered very well.

«Do you still have this pillow?»

Nico startled before turning towards Percy. The boy had taken a big pleated pillow from the bed and was holding it with such a care that he couldn't scold him and snatch it away from his hands, as he would have done with everybody else. Nico didn't allow anybody to touch it, but for Percy this rule was not effective, because he was too important to him.

«I could never throw it away» he said, quietly.

The boy nodded, aware of that fact. He didn't find strange that compliant behavior of the boy, unusual in any other context but not when it was about his mother. Percy couldn't honestly say that he missed his father, who had died when he was just born, and after the gloomy years in which his mother was married with that revolting man for desperation – she was an unmarried mother with a newborn who had to be fed – now he was happy with her third husband, a good man who treated Sally Jackson with the respect she deserved.

But he knew that Nico had never really overcome his mother's death, that only Hazel's loveliness had made him accept her as a sister and endure the bitter pill that his father had gotten a woman pregnant while the flowers on Maria Di Angelo's grave were still fresh.

«It's a nice pillow» Percy said with gentle voice. «Your mother was really good in sew.»

«I know» Nico answered with a small indecision. He hesitated again, not sure that he wanted to talk about it, until the warmth in Percy's eyes made it natural to confide to him. He had always loved that vivid shade of green, more than he would ever admit. «Have I ever told you that it is stuffed with feathers?» he asked.

«_Only_ feathers?»

«Yeah» he confirmed, smiling at his wonder. «There aren't works like this anymore. Now all the pillows are stuffed with the synthetic crap that is ready in only an hour. Feathers pillows, instead, demand days of work. You need to insert one feather after the other, you know? I… my father says that it is impossible because I was too young, but I'm sure to remember her making this pillow. She had such beautiful hands while she had the feathers between her fingers.»

Nico stopped talking, shy because he realized to have said too much. Percy didn't seem to realize that anyway, limited himself to smile and watch again the pillow before putting it on the bed.

«The truly important things demand time and care» he considered. «A synthetic pillow demands only a little time, but it is the same of hundreds of others, while a feathers pillow demands a lot of time, it is more fragile, more complicate and more beautiful.»

He expected a puff from Nico and the comment that those words would be more suitable for a thirteen years old girl in love, instead he nodded in agreement.

Percy noticed that Nico was looking at him with that intense glare that made his throat dry. He stared at him too and, while he was drowning in his eyes, all the reasons for which kissing him was wrong slipped away from his mind. He sat in front of him, who was still kneeled on the ground, to look him in the eyes; and while he was hesitating to touch him, Nico's word eliminated all his reluctances.

«If we want to keep going with the pillow metaphor, I have been making yours since I was ten. Feather after feather, believe me.»

Nico realized what he had said only when he saw Percy with his mouth wide open. He was drawn by that intense and unexpected atmosphere, but when he understood that he had just revealed him his Big Secret – in a twisted way, maybe, but he didn't hope for a second that Percy hadn't comprehended it – he was wrecked.

Aware that he had turned pale, Nico tried to escape- he didn't know where, maybe to catch the first train and run away – but he didn't manage to get up because Percy grabbed him. Unbalanced, he ended up falling over him and he didn't panic, being in his arms in such a moment, only because Percy started to laugh, and he couldn't resist to his laughs.

«Since you were ten?» he asked, and even if he couldn't look him in the face, he knew that his eyes were laughing too. «God, Nico. When I was ten, my biggest problem was getting the money for the snacks.»

«I'm smarter than you. Plus, I don't have your emotional capacity, I needed time to fill my pillow» he explained, out of whack from the change of that day, which had started so well.

He looked up, finding a confirmation that Percy's eyes were so bright that they could dazzled him. Clearly amused, unexpectedly relieved, absurdly and stupidly happy.

«You're right about that» Percy agreed, placing his hand on his cheek. «The feathers that you accumulate in six years… I can recover them in only one of torn denial and in five minutes like these ones.»

«Don't exaggerate» Nico protested.

He was really irritated, sure that he was not such a pathological case, but his anger drawn in the chlorine flavor of Percy's lips when he approached to kiss him. He realized that he loved that flavor and that he had wanted it more than he thought, then he didn't think at all.

But, despite his confused mind, he perceived the danger when he heard the squeak of the rungs nearer to the landing. Percy was floored when Nico withdrawn in such a hurry, both for their actions and for the brusque interruption, but he soon understood the reason of his movement.

«Percy, I didn't know you were here, too.»

Hade's voice petrified him, and he needed all his courage to manage to turn and face him. He couldn't say if the man had seen them kissing or if Nico's promptness had saved him from a dreadful premature death, and he continued doubting since Ade turner his attention to his son and ignored him.

«Demeter told me you came home with a black eye. Again» he said, with a tone that swing between worry and reproach.

«I'm fine» Nico assured him. «You know» he added, «I retorted some blow, today.»

It was a brazen lie but, after a small hesitation, the man decided not to say it. He indulged on his son's face, divided again between the desire to call the principal and yell at him and the exasperation because his only son couldn't win a physical fight.

Finally, he shook his head and didn't say anything. Then he returned to Percy, who froze again, and leered at him.

«I'll see you at dinner.»

He exited the room without saying another word. From every perspective, that sounded like a threat to Percy, who examined the idea of escaping from the window and return home safe.

But Nico was looking at him, shy and hesitating, full of expectations and fear; so, before his brain could warn him not to challenge a tall and vindictive funeral director, his arms moved to embrace the boy.

And when he felt Nico relax in his embrace, Percy knew he was defeated.

* * *

«… So, love is like a parasite.»

Hades' stentorian voice gave a particular impression to those words, worrisome of their own. His daughters stared at him in silence and even his wife was starting to show signs of discomfort, while Demeter – oddly – had stopped grumbling about the spoilt sowing because of the hail and looked at his son-in-law.

Percy didn't find it strange, since it was over twenty minutes – since the beginning of that surreal dinner – that Hades was giving them a gloomy invective about the dreadful consequences of love.

«Sometimes we need to protect ourselves from the love of others» he said. «Because love can be malicious. Love deceives. Love kills.»

Percy exchanged a brief look with Nico, realizing that he thought that his father had seen them kissing, too.

Nico could be offended by that, remembering that when Hades discovered about the relationship between Hazel and Frank, he had simply said that he would rather not be inform about his teenagers daughters sentimental life. While now with him, who was the son and therefore less vulnerable, he seemed eager to make some infernal dogs tear Percy to pieces.

He could be offended, but Nico understood why Ade was reacting in that way.

He doubted that he cared about his being a homosexual, since he had discovered about his feelings for Percy years before. But his father knew him, emotionally incapable to impose some limits, and this was the reason of his anxiety, hidden behind his inflexibility.

Nico understood that Hades was thinking that he would be able to throw himself from a five-floors building if Percy had ever left him.

The thought made him sigh while he renounced to make his father notice that he inherited that lack of balance from him. Instead he stopped listening to his rigmarole and he lost himself thinking of Percy's kisses, until he heard the boy's name and became vigilant again.

«… Changing the subject. You know, Percy, today at work I saw a young man who really resembled you.»

He put on his most respectable expression before answering to Ade. He was relieved anyway that the man had stopped explaining why love was the eleventh unrevealed plague and he couldn't doubt of the innocence of that comment.

«Was he a student who came to observe your work?» he asked, overlooking the fact that the job consisted in dealing with corpses.

Ade stared at him and answered with a tone that made Percy shake.

«No, he was on the morgue's table» he said. «Car accident.»

«Dad!»

Percy risked to choke with his couscous, more and more convinced that Ade wanted to see him dead, but Nico's indignant exclamation made him smile. He squeezed his hand under the table and whispered at him.

«I hope you don't share your father's horrific idea of love».

«I don't» he answered, showing an ability in speaking in a whisper and, at the same time, in giving strength to his words. «I think it is love when you don't like doing something but you do it anyway, and you almost have fun, because you know that the one you love is happy to do it.»

«Is this a way to inform me that you never liked surf?»

Percy thought that Nico's expression was almost too much eloquent and sweet and he laughed quietly so that Ade didn't notice. He knew that kissing him now would be a suicide, but he was satisfied with the happy look that Nico gave him while he was telling him that, now, he couldn't avoid to really learn that cards game.


	2. self-esteem issues

_Here's the second chapter. This fiction will not be very long, six chapters have already been written, but I hope to publish in September a Longfiction very long; more serious and "full-bodied"._

_Meanwhile, I hope this will please you_

* * *

«Nico, open the door.»

He had always knew that that moment would come since when Percy had to go home when the dinner ended and Hades' impeding presence behind them prevent them to do anything more that agree to meet to go to school together the next day. Anyway, Nico had hoped that, at least for that night, his father could spare him, so hearing his bossy order while he was brushing his teeth made him sigh.

Beside, the door of the bathroom was _open_.

Nico washed his mouth and turned around, realizing that, even if there was no obstacle, his father didn't want to enter. He suspected that, following some personal and twisted idea on how to speak to a teenager gay son, he didn't want to make his move but preferred to wait for him to come out and face him.

And this, Nico thought, made it clear that he inherited his ability in social interactions from him.

Tired before he had even started, he decided to follow that script. He would rather wear something more dignified than a faded pajama, but he doubted that his father cared for his clothes. When he was in front of him, Hades looked him up and down with that gaze that, when he was little, Nico had found so terrifying and that only growing up he understood was not a homicidal look. Only an intimidating one.

Hades looked at him and his words were almost as brutal as his eyes.

«Have you already slept with that guy?»

«Dad!»

Hades observed Nico turning pale and then blushing; a close sequence of impulsive reactions that, with skepticism, convinced him that Percy Jackson didn't let his hands wander and that he wasn't morally forced to cut them off, not yet.

The thought of that hideous boy with bleeding stumps made him snigger, but he returned serious when he saw Nico's expression. Absolutely not fighting, that was what he was expecting, but an unpleasant mixture of anxiety, regret and resignation.

«I'm sorry, dad. I never wanted you to be disgusted by me» he said, lowering his voice.

«What…»

Hades couldn't remember the last time he was speechless, and yet that disheartened assertion of his son managed to take away all his words. He was about to order him never to say such nonsense again when he thought that attack someone was not the best way to make him believe that he was not mad at him. He didn't manage to use a gentle tone, but he overcame his limits using a calm one.

«Nico, you don't disgust me» he affirmed.

«Your expression doesn't seem to agree with that» he noticed.

He didn't add that his gaze was like a wet blanket because he was convinced that, in the last years, his father knew and didn't have a problem with him being gay; while now he had the same face of that time when he had to take him and Bianca to a clown show.

His father _hated_ clowns.

Hades took a deep breathe to avoid telling Nico that he was a moron. He knew that his son was not a moron, that in fact his intelligence was above the average, but he couldn't help it that, when they were speaking of sentiments, he had a paranoiac mistrust.

«You. Do. Not. Disgust. Me.» he said categorical, making it implicit that he wouldn't accept another objection. «What disgust me is the thought that you will have to fornicate with that arrogant and annoying boy. Really, Nico: don't you have anyone else? Even that blond guy with the look of a dull trout would be better.»

Nico took a few seconds to decide how to answer that. He was relieved that his fear for his father's feeling was proved wrong, but he didn't like that his notorious aversion for Percy was so much stronger than he imagined. Nico was still convinced that Ade, in the heart of the matter, was afraid to see him stuck in a too much serious relationship which would end to be deleterious in case they broke up. But Nico also understood that his father would never admit it, the man would rather attack Percy forever.

«Dad, Jason is Piper's boyfriend» he answered, diplomatically.

«That hyperactive Hispanic?»

«Leo is not gay…»

«Then that Franz or whatever.»

«Frank is your daughter's boyfriend!»

Hades shooed that indignant objection with a movement of his hand. At that point, Nico was enough irritated to answer in the way he tried to avoid before, explaining clearly that he would never think to substitute Percy with somebody else. Percy was Percy, that's that. Percy was all he needed.

He haven't start speaking yet, that Hades had already an exasperated expression, as if he read those thoughts on his face.

«To take a crush this seriously is absurd» he burst out, approaching more than he had ever done to his inner fears. «Hell, you make me think that, when Percy will leave you, you are going to disappear!»

In all fairness, Nico couldn't find a way to answer with alacrity to that accusation. He didn't believe to be the fragile nervous wreck that his father imagined, but he couldn't deny that he had shuddered at the thought of his life without Percy.

Once that school was over, with all their afternoons of study, he would move to another city to attend college and then, maybe, marry.

Remembering those distressing consideration made him shiver; now he was too much shocked and incredulous of the fact that Percy chose him to believe them. Hades saw his reaction and responded by tightening his jaw.

«Do I have to prepare the leaflet for the lamppost? Something like: _"We are searching for a heart-broken boy who ran from home"_» he asked, sarcastically.

Nico looked at him challenging, even if still a bit defensively.

«Maybe you didn't realize it, but Percy… loves me» he said.

He overlooked at his possible reactions in case he had refused and, by saying the last word, he hesitated almost if he didn't believe himself. Anyway, he stared back at his father with obstinacy.

«Percy is a hell of a regular of the swim team» Ade blurted out, without any semblance of diplomacy. «For reasons that I don't understand, he is popular, good-looking and unable not to be at the center of attention. Do you really think that someone like him could be serious with someone like you?»

«Thanks, dad. I'm moved by the consideration you have of me» Nico answered, acidly.

Hades looked up theatrically and didn't pretend to excuse himself or to change his previous declaration.

«Nico, it's obvious that these high-school stars will be several steps beneath you in the future society» he cut short. He thought for a second, then smiled. «It's probable, actually, that Percy will end up cleaning your pool.»

«_Dad_»

Hades ignored his grumpy exclamation. Instead, he put his hands on his shoulders and looked him in the eyes.

«I have no doubt that my son is more intelligent than the child of a man who wore Hawaiian shirts in winter» he said, and this time Nico didn't protest because the fact that his father and Percy's father knew each other when they were young had always fascinated him. «But» he continued, «an idiotic smile has more success than a good brain at your age. So, please, believe me when I say that Percy is not serious with you. Accept it, without tragic and sudden reactions. I would really like not to have breakfast with your face on the milk carton.»

The first though that crossed Nico's mind was that Bianca had never seemed her father's daughter more than that moment.

She had made him that speech over and over again, only with a little more tact, and he always reacted by closing himself in his muteness with the concise affirmation that it was only his business, to be or not be in love with Percy.

Now, he wasn't rude with his father, from whom he always wanted to be admired, but the impulse of defending Percy was so natural that he couldn't stop it.

«You can't talk without knowing him» he said angrily. «He is honest and sincere, he would never have kissed me if he hadn't… felt something for me. We kissed again and again and he hugged me… so…»

Nico blushed while he garbled himself in those embarrassing memories, Hades sighed with disgust, obviously non-enthusiastic in knowing the details of their last encounter.

«I warn you, Nico, another word and I will send you to the country with Demeter» he threatened.

He fell silent with dignity, because he was afraid that, sooner or later, his father would put into practice that threat and because those insinuations made him doubtful again.

If he managed to stem it before, telling himself that Percy actually felt the same about him, no matter how surreal it seemed, now it was not so easy to control his doubts and his pessimism. He forced himself to appear sure of himself while he waved goodnight to his father and went back to his room, but he was certain that Hades had understood his real feelings anyway.

* * *

Annabeth has known Percy for such a long time that she was being realistic when she said that, at her eyes, his feelings were as clear as water. And this didn't depend on the fact that everybody could read Percy's face or that he was unable to lie.

So, that morning, she only needed to look at him to know that something very important happened, but she was stunned by his words when he approached her under the big oak tree between their houses, were they usually met before going to school together.

«I kissed Nico yesterday.»

Annabeth opened her eyes wide, while Bianca almost choked herself with the milk she was drinking and Hazel brought her hands on her mouth, shocked.

Annabeth tipped on Bianca's back to help her breathe, without moving her gaze from Percy's face. She thought that one night must have been enough to overcome any hesitation, if he had any, and that now he was not afraid of the others' opinions but was ready to defend his own positions.

Suitable for him, but she wandered how much time he would need to realized that for Nico it would never be so easy. She tried to warn him, for example by saying that he had gone to school by his own, but Percy spoke again.

«Did you know that he has been having feelings for me since he was ten?» he asked Bianca and Hazel.

Since the sister was still struggling for air, the younger one answered, direct as Percy had been and without sharing Annabeth's doubts.

«In our group, everybody knew. Except you, of course» she said. Then she smiled at him. «Oh, I'm so happy! I always knew that you were perfect together, you are the only one who can complete my brother.»

«Probably, yes» Percy agreed, smiling back at her.

Annabeth couldn't avoid to look up, but she didn't manage to speak because someone else did it before her: Bianca. She had just stopped gasping and, with sparkling eyes, she looked threatening at Percy.

«I will get really mad if you're going to play with my brother» she warned him.

«I would never do that» he complained, offended.

«Are you saying that you are really interested in him?»

Percy thought that the implicit incredulity in Bianca's voice was almost insulting and, without even realizing it, his tone became more annoyed.

«Nico is a good person» he said. «I always thought this, even when he was just a brother to me. I think he is strong and sensitive, and when you learn to look beyond his apparent sullenness, you see that he is really, really good. And then, he is soft to hug even if he is so skinny.»

Percy understood that the girl didn't like his last sentence, so he cleared his throat and didn't said that it was even nice to kiss him. Annabeth looked at his happy face and felt guilty for what she was about to tell him, but she didn't hesitate to speak, now that there was silence.

«You don't have to convince _us_ of your feelings, but Nico» she warned him.

Percy opened his eyes wide, surprised by those words. He waited, as if he wanted her to retreat her words, even if he knew that it wouldn't be Annabeth's behavior, so he was forced to accept that she was serious.

«I'm pretty sure he was awake when we were kissing, yesterday» he commented.

«Percy, don't be stupid» she snorted.

He looked at her a bit offended, then he shrugged his shoulders.

«I'm sorry, but I don't understand what you're saying.»

Annabeth sighed deeply. She didn't doubt that Percy was one of those who knew better Nico, who wasn't someone simple to understand with all the walls he had built around himself, but since the beginning she was sure that, on this subject, he would be wrong: Percy was too much confident and determined; Nico, instead, was unsure and suspicious.

«I'm saying that, for him, you have always been an unattainable dream» she explained. «That Nico has always been used to lose and he is afraid to get something, that he has no faith in himself and that he sees you as the substitute of the Sun. That some kisses won't be enough to convince him that Percy Jackson wants him.»

Percy was open mouthed. Bianca nodded rigidly and even Hazel agreed. He looked at the three of them, sure that they were about to burst out in laughs, and he was disconcerted when they staid serious.

«This is crazy!» he exclaimed.

«Did you notice only now that Nico is not the definition of emotional equilibrium?» Bianca asked.

Percy was reduced into silence.


	3. difficult choices

**I have no particular notice to be given, then I simply hope you enjoy reading**

* * *

_School was always the same_, Nico thought while he dodged with assimilated ability a can that flew a few centimeters from his face. He ignored the scornful laughs that burst out in the hallway when they discovered that the can was full and, slamming against the locker beyond him, it exploded in a small geyser of sugary liquid. He cleaned his face quietly, thinking that he should consider himself lucky not to have his hair wet too. He had already spent a whole day with moist and sticky locks; he didn't want to repeat the experience.

School was monotonous, asphyxiating and with its discriminating and inflexible hierarchies. Just what he needed, if he needed something else, to make him feel even more inadequate.

Until they were locked in his bedroom – in his small, safe bedroom – he didn't find it impossible to kiss Percy. Surprising, bewildering, amazing; but not impossible. But now, when he was observing his swimming team and then seeing his own reflection in a locker, he didn't find it absurd to think at the two of them as a couple: he found it _wrong_.

With a heavy heart, Nico wondered why he had understood only in that moment that dating him would be a disaster for Percy. Percy Jackson was the idolized captain of the swimming team; Nico Di Angelo was the shy boy who get pepsy cans in the head every morning. This was the reality, and the reality couldn't be forgotten.

«Nico!»

He knew the identity beyond that bright voice without the need of turning around. The only member of their group – or better, the group into which he was pushed, even if he never really felt a part of it – who wasn't tall, athletic and perfect. Leo was more similar to him: a thin first-year-boy, with an undisciplined bulk of hair and unpopular hobbies. Nico had seen him enthusiastic while disassembling and reassembling a radio, caressing the screwdriver as if it was a priceless treasure, and he knew that he would be able to realize a Molotov bomb with his eyes closed.

Between them there was also a fundamental, piercing difference: Leo used to smile. Always. And the fact that he was able to build explosives protected him from the bullies.

«What?» Nico asked, greeting him.

If it were an ordinary day, Leo would have ironically commented that Nico was nicely sociable as usually, but now he stared at him with an unsettled expression. He seems so upset that Nico immediately turned defensive.

«What's going on?» he asked again.

«Percy…»

Nico froze at that name. He instantly understood what had happened but, instead than jump in happiness, his heart squeezed alarmed when Leo confirmed it with shortness of breath.

«I met Percy and he asked me if knew where you were – he said – and when I considered that it was strange that you had come to school without him he answered that yesterday you two kissed, kissed!, and now you need time to…»

Nico didn't leave him the time to finish his sentence. Almost panicking, he grabbed Leo from his shoulders and shook him.

«Tell me that he is not saying it to everyone!» he pleaded.

«No, obviously. But… I think that someone may have heard us talking since he was not being careful with the volume of his voice» he admitted.

Nico groaned as if his biggest terror had become real and, even if he avoided saying it openly, Leo understood his fears. He wished he could lessen them and reassure him, maybe patting him on the back and cherishing with him, saying that it was the proof that in matters of love, the one who perseveres win. But it would be hypocrite, and even if he had wanted to pretend not to know, it was impossible because the problem – or at least a representative of the problem – materialized besides him.

«Hey, you ugly faggot!»

Leo hardly swallowed while Nico closed his eyes.

He could get angry with Percy - he didn't doubt for a second that _that guy_ with the offended expression had come looking for him because of the rumors that had started to spread - but he knew that it would be a useless and sterile anger. It wasn't Percy's fault if they had kissed, nor if he was too gentle and serious to recognize his mistake. He had always knew that he was the prototype of the good guy who would take his responsibilities after sleeping with someone while he was drunk.

The thought made him smile and blush together; for a moment, he was lost in his usual fantasies and he almost forgot that a very big and very angry guy was staring menacing at him. He remembered a few seconds later, when he was grabbed by an arm and shoved against the wall.

«Leave him alone» Leo exclaimed.

«You, shut up! This is none of your business!»

«Nor yours» he retorted.

Leo knew the guy that now was looking badly at him. Jeremy was a member of the basketball team who sat beside him during chemistry. God, he had even helped him several times by giving him the answers during tests! But he understood that reminding it to him would not help.

«They are if a faggot defames someone I know» he burst out.

Leo contemplated the idea of inform him that those rumors, which were actually true, were spread by Percy - and not by Nico – who forgot that in highschool to whisper a news was more than sufficient to make it become public knowledge. Then he realized that, by doing it, he would only irritate him more. As much useless as it, it would be to remind him that it was not his business if Percy wanted or didn't want to hang out with someone; male, female, popular or unpopular that it was.

The only option that Leo recognized as reasonable left him with a bitter taste in his mouth, but he preferred to choke back his pride than to let the situation degenerate and end the morning in the infirmary; or worst. When Leo turned around and ran away, Nico gave a sigh in relief, both because he was gone to search for a professor and because he didn't want to involve him in a fight. Or, more realistically, in an one-way beating.

«Jeremy, Percy and I… we didn't do anything. They are just stupid rumors.»

Nico found it painful to say those words and he understood that they were completely useless because, before he could even finish, a violent slap in the face knocked him over.

«First: do not call me by name» hissed the boy. «Second: obviously they are all craps. Percy doesn't have anything to do with you.»

Even if he was trying to remain impassive not to give him any satisfaction, Nico groaned when he forced him to stand up by pulling him from the hair.

«How dare you to spread these tall tales?» Jeremy accused him with indignant voice. «You shouldn't even dare to go near Percy, or Jason! The next time will you make up faggot hearsay about him too?»

Nico didn't answer. He had absolutely no idea of what would happen, disoriented by a situation in which he had never found himself before. Now it was not only the usual scorn, nourished by boredom and the thought that it had to be fun to remember to the losers their position.

That was real anger at the idea that one of the popular guys of the school could be knocked off from his pedestal discovering himself gay and, if it was not serious enough, to do it with him.

It hurt, but it reinforced in Nico the decision to protect Percy from all that. But, even if he would not betray that choice, he felt a rebellion grow inside him after having heard the disdainful words of the other guy.

«Of course you would like Jason too» he commented, answering to his own question. «You would like me too, wouldn't you? You faggots don't love anybody, you can only give vent to your pervert instincts.»

It was completely ill-advised, Nico knew it, but he couldn't and didn't want to hold back. To protect Percy meant to reject him, but it didn't obligate him to deny his feelings.

«I love him!» he exclaimed.

Jeremy moved back as if he had been hit by a baseball bat. His eyes flashed with incredulity, then there was only indignation. He froze, the muscles tense to breaking point, as if he was about to explode.

«Do not give me this bullshit» he growled.

«I love Percy» Nico repeated. «I love him since forever. He doesn't have anything to do with me, but I love him. And you can't prevent it.»

He shut up when he was hit with a slap.

«I don't want to hear this horrible crap!» the guy shouted with a second slap.

This one hit him in the stomach and forced him to bend before falling down. The slight hesitation that he saw in Jeremy while he was fighting for air made him understand that he didn't know when he wanted to stop. But it wasn't the hesitation that stopped him, it was the angry voice that filled up the hallway.

«Get away from him, now!»

Nico wished he was happy to hear it, he wished it more than anything, but instead he felt pure resentment towards Leo that had been so stupid to run and call Percy.

As if he had understood his thought, Leo lifted up his hands in surrender. He was pretty sure that Nico wouldn't be happy if he had got closer to check him out, so he was grateful when Percy did it at his place.

«Are you okay?» the boy asked him with urgent voice.

«Splendid.»

Percy hoped that, if Nico was still capable of being sarcastic, nothing very bad could have happened. But he didn't miss his lament when he tried to get up without lay his right feet down and he looked at him when his eyes became wet.

«He hurt you» Percy said, and it was not a question.

«I suppose that it was his intention.»

«Nico, stop talking about it as if it was nothing!»

Percy regretted that he had exploded in that way and when he looked with more attention at his face, he felt a knot in his stomach. The cut on the lip from a few days before had reopened, and other contusions – that Percy imagined would soon become dark and swollen - had been added to the old livid on his cheekbone.

The guilt was followed by the anger, so he turned towards the boy who was looking at him, shocked. Ignoring his astonished expression, he grabbed Jeremy from the collar of his t-shirt and jostled him so hard that Nico feared that he would bite his tongue.

«What the hell is your problem?» he attacked him. «I'm sick of you stupid violent morons, if you try to hurt Nico again, I swear it will be the last thing you do!»

«I was just making him understand that he cannot spread those rumors about you!» the boy exclaimed, aghast by his reaction. «He was saying that the two of you are together!»

«It wasn't him!» Percy hushed him with loud voice, now full of regrets while he was realizing that it was all his fault. «And it is not…»

«It was my idea!»

Nico's sudden exclamation hushed both the boys. They turned around to face him, Percy disconcerted and Jeremy scornful.

Nico was about to scream in pain when he touched the ground with his feet, wishing that his ankle was just out-of-joint, but he forced himself to walk on his own. Before turning his back on him, he glanced at Percy with his most impassive expression.

«It was a stupid joke, I'm sorry I involved you» he said. «Let's end it here, okay? Reassure your buddies that you are not crazy.»

«Nico!»

When he didn't answer and limped away, Percy moved to follow him, confused and fuming, but Leo stopped him before he could reach Nico.

«I think that's enough, okay? We will talk about it later, calmly» he said.

«Talk about what? I don't understand what he has!»

«And this is one of the problems. Now, calm down and let him do the same, if you talk to him now you would only argue.»

Percy seemed ready to shout, but at the end he was forced to agree silently. When he turned around, Jeremy has already disappeared; Leo kept looking at him. He knew that Percy was completely unaware of the reasons that brought Nico to behave in that way, but he didn't know if he should have felt admired or sorry for that sincere nonchalance for the obvious. Unfair, but obvious.

«You know that if you get steady with Nico they will never forgive you, do you?» he asked, being careful with his tone and words. «Your teammates, the other sportive clubs. A few civilized minds will shake their shoulders, but the ordinary adolescent used to glory and sportive fame will horrify when he get to know that one of his own is gay and fiancée with one of those guys who hides in the library during lunch time.»

Percy didn't speak, but Leo knew him and he was sure that he had to be livid at the thought that Nico was attacked because of that, terribly full of guilt, instinctively desirous of defending him but also wounded because he seemed ready to end it without even trying to talk.

At the end, his eyes became of a darker green, as if they were loaded with thunderous clouds, and Leo knew that it was not a good sign.

* * *

The main reason that brought Jason to propose to go to the infirmary on everyone's behalf, with the excuse that a whole group would be inconvenient, was the thought that if Bianca had seen her brother before any medicament, she could have fetched her bow and strewn dead bodies all over the hallway. Even if he was sure that she, and also Hazel, could really get angry because of what happened to Nico, he wasn't serious when he was saying to himself that he hadn't be there for class just because he got some bruises bumping against the locker.

So his first feeling, when he entered the infirmary, was a sudden sense of guilt; with only one glance, he understood that it wasn't a small thing. Nico's bruises weren't more serious that the one he had before - he was still upset because they were a lot and all together – but what stroke him were his tormented eyes.

«What happened?» he asked, sitting next to him.

«It's a sprain» he answered with flat tone.

Jason looked at him confused, before understanding that he was referring to his bandaged feet. He didn't like it, but it was not what he meant and Nico knew it too.

«This is about Percy, right?» he asked. And, while he asked, he wondered why he didn't understand before that the words that Percy said that morning would have disastrous effects on someone else. «Who did this to you?» he investigated. «One of his teammates? Damn it, they are all morons! What is it to them, if Percy is seeing someone?»

«Because the tall and handsome captains must be with blond and beautiful girls» Nico said, his voice even more flat than before. «Actually, Annabeth would be perfect for Percy.»

«You are perfect for Percy» Jason responded, starting to get annoyed because of his stolid behavior.

«No, I'm not.»

«Nico, please, don't be an idiot!»

When he understood that to lose his temper was not the best strategy, Jason forced himself to calm down. He breathed deep a couple of times and then he looked decisively at Nico. He wanted to grab his face so that he couldn't avoid his look, but he was afraid that he would hurt him.

«You and Percy are beautiful together, do you understand?»

«No, I…»

«You are smart and cute. Don't take me for a gay if I tell you, please, but I have always found you cute. Don't think that you would be the only lucky one if you get steady with Percy.»

«Shut up!» he shouted.

«Why should I? I'm only saying what you already know inside of you. You're smart, cute and damned perfect for that idiot of my friend. You complete each other. You're like cream and chocolate, ketchup and fries, the sauce on meat balls. My girlfriend's mother is a marriage counselor, you know, so I'm warning you that I could go on with these sincere and sugary metaphors all day long if you don't say to me: _"Yes, Jason, as usual you're right."_»

Jason knew that, by pressing him in this way, Nico's self-control would surrender sooner or later, but when he saw him burst into tears he panicked. He searched something to tell him, frustrated for not having any solution and being only able to talk and talk nonsense, but he spoke first.

«I don't want to hurt Percy» he sobbed. «I know that he would ruin his reputation by being with me, I cannot do this to him now that he is happy. Before he was excluded because of his step-brother, and now he has tried so hard to be accepted.»

«Oh, come on, Nico! You can't compare yourself to Tyson!» Jason protested.

He sighed when Nico, instead than answering, cried more. He tried to put him in a corner to make him pour out his emotions, but now that he had succeeded he was feeling despicable, not a friend. He hoped that Hazel or Bianca didn't enter in that moment, because they would probably kill him.

«You have so many good qualities, whoever say the contrary is a moron» he affirmed.

Nico didn't speak, but he didn't rebelled either when the boy hugged him in a clumsy but sincere way.

«If someone sees us, I would ruin your reputation too» Nico murmured after a few minutes.

«Stop it with this» Jason scolded him.

«It's the truth.»

That last sentence didn't even seemed tormented to Jason. Sorrowful, depressed, resigned. And stubborn. So much that he sighed again, because he knew that he wouldn't be able to dissuade him.


	4. simple answers

Annabeth knew Percy since forever, so it was with awareness of the situation that she looked at him and thought, anxiously, that she had never seen him so angry since the time when he discovered that his mother had been beaten up by her husband.

In that occasion, Percy exploded with a violence that was not usual in him. The girl could still remember the fury in his eyes and she was sure that, if Sally hadn't stop him, he would have really hurt the man. Annabeth had told herself that she would never see him in that state again, because there would never be a situation that would get him so angry, but now she thought that school violence was just as serious as domestic violence. And – this honestly surprised her a little bit – she realized that Nico had become very important to Percy, so much that the knowledge of how bad his real situation at school was, triggered that reaction in him.

Annabeth watched the boy while he knocked insistently at the front door of the Di Angelo family and what she saw in his face was a bunch of dangerous thunderous clouds.

«Maybe it would be best to let it go now» she suggested. «You left school early to come to see him, but if he doesn't want to talk to you…»

«He will have to.»

Annabeth sighed. She gave up at make him reason, thinking that to insist against someone who was barricade inside his room was better than prevent Percy to beat the crap out of one of his schoolmates.

«Jeremy won't get away with this» he blurted out, as if he had read in her mind. «But right now I need to talk to Nico.»

Annabeth tried to protest by saying that they should let the teachers deal with it, but before she could even open her mouth a voice came out from behind them.

«Get out of my way.»

It took her only one moment to understand that it was Ade and that he was full of hatred, only one second to realize that Percy could really fight with him since they were both very instable.

«I have to talk to Nico» he said without hesitating.

«The only thing you have to do is disappear before I send you to the hospital, too» he replied in a grumble.

Percy opened his mouth to answer, the usual anxiety that the man gave him had been swept away by the anger and the frustration, but a detail of what he had said to him left him breathless. Alarmed, he looked up towards the window of Nico's bedroom.

«He went to the hospital?» he asked, urgently.

Ade clamped his jaw shut without answering. He brusquely pushed Percy aside and took the keys to open the door, ignoring him as if he wasn't there. Percy gritted his teeth and Annabeth realized that things could really end badly now. She get ready to react in some way, regretting Bianca and Hazel's absence, when Persefone's intrusion surprised all of them.

«He has a bad strain and after seeing a hematoma on his temple the doctor decided to make a few more tests» she answered for her husband. «My mother and the girls are with him. Anyway, it's nothing serious, we will bring him home in a few hours.»

«_Nothing serious?_»

«You have to admit that some bruises and a swollen ankle have never killed anybody. Even a concussion would be light, mostly a common headache.»

Persefone sustained the glance of fire that Ade gave her with a resolution that Annabeth wasn't expecting. In the end, anyway, it was Percy who got angry with her.

«It is nothing to get beaten up by someone who is twice your size!» he exclaimed, his eyes full of anger. Then his expression became more sad. «I should have…»

«You should have stopped him, yes» Ade interrupted him coldly. «Since you are the cause of all this» he snorted when Percy looked at him, surprised. «I'm not an idiot, I knew it would end up like this since the moment I saw the two of you kissing» he said. «But clearly you're too stupid and arrogant to understand the consequences of your actions.»

Percy got immediately on the defensive and defended the thing that, no matter how many problems it had caused, was most important to him.

«I really care for Nico» he said, looking Ade in the eyes. «I like him and I want to be with him, what's wrong with that?»

Ade seemed ready to actually punch him, even if he had never done it before despite all his threats, then he turned around and opened vehemently the door. Annabeth thought that he would say nothing else, instead he looked at Percy one more time before entering the house. Still resentful but also serious, as if he was giving him the benefit of the doubt.

«Even if I hate to admit it as I hate few other things, Nico has put you at the center of his life» he said, harshly. «I'm not fighting the fact that you two are together, I'm fighting that he is giving you more than you're giving him. _You care for him?_ That idiot of my son doesn't care for you. _He loves you_. If you can feel the same for him, then leave him alone. Otherwise I swear I will give your tongue to my dog.»

Annabeth found very sinister that threat, thinking at the Di Angelo's enormous black dog, but she knew that it was not the reason why Percy had that astonished expression. She knew him too well not to know that he was shocked by Ade's words, wondering if it was true that he had never given him more than half of what he deserved.

And she knew that she couldn't help him, he would have to get to the answer on his own.

* * *

He could have been scared of the way in which things had gone, if just he hadn't tried so hard not to show his fears and if the thought of Percy hadn't monopolized all his emotions, which were reduced to a mixture of remorse, regret and pure, simple pain. And if – Nico couldn't exclude it – Demetra hadn't been sat next to his bed peeling an apple and complaining about everything.

«You don't eat enough cereals, this is the problem! This is the reason why the other boys can smash you like ripe grapes. If you ate more, you would at least take some of them to the ER with you. I mean, you probably weight as a wet chick. And your hair are too long, what's that bush that you have on your head? The real men who live in the fields don't have these stupid locks on their forehead that you boys call bangs, they have to dry the sweat from their skin.»

«Thanks, grandma. Now I do feel better» he grumbled.

«Don't try to be sarcastic with me, young boy!» she scolded him, ceasing to peel her fourth apple and pointing the knife against him. «In my time…»

«… Nico?»

Jason's uncertain voice made Demetra be quiet. The boy near the door was staring, with his mouth open, at the knife pointed towards Nico's throat and, afraid that he would run away screaming for help, he hastened to intervene.

«My grandma is not menacing to kill me» he clarified. «So close that mouth, Jason, before some fly enters it.»

Tactfully, he obeyed. Piper appeared behind him, with a bouquet in her arms, and then also Leo, Frank, Bianca and Hazel. Nico realized that his sisters had gone away to organize that gathering and despite the embarrass he chose not to blame them for leaving him alone with Demetra. Anyway, when his eyes stopped on the last person who entered the room, he couldn't avoid to squeeze harder the blanket.

Annabeth noticed the glance that Nico gave her before he lowered his head, she knew that he would give her that look.

«Percy didn't come with me» she said without hesitation.

«Wow, Annabeth, this is tact» Leo replied, looking up to the sky.

She ignored him. She observed instead Nico's reaction and his futile attempt, clear to everybody, to convince himself that it was better in that way. He couldn't even say it with straight voice, dangerously close to tears, so he sniffled and commented that there was pollen in the air.

«Man, it's November» Jason replied, then Piper shushed him with a jab. So he tried to remedy. «Well, I mean…»

«The blonde hunk wanted to say that you can whine openly without worry» Demetra intervened.

«Grandma!»

She ignored Hazel's upset exclamation. Bianca, instead, didn't lose time to argue with the woman that she had always considered intractable and sat on the bed next to Nico.

Despite her love for Hazel – even if she quite liked her actual family – despite her desire, when she was younger, to put some distance between her and baby Nico who was always clingy towards her, she considered her brother as the most authentic family relation she had. They had been alone for so long after their mother's death, before their father recognized Hazel as a daughter and Persefone came into their life, that Bianca had never forgotten the days spent in an empty house with only Nico's voice as a company.

At the time it was hard to be a full-time sister, but she never stopped to look out for him. And having to look at him so beaten up right now made her sick.

«I'm sure Percy is home organizing a revenge for when we go back to school on Monday» she affirmed.

«But that is not what I want!» Nico exclaimed, anxious.

«Yes, you want it» she cut short. «And you want to be with Percy, too. This, mostly. And I'm sure that a little revenge wouldn't disappoint you.»

«Revenge and justice are not the same thing» Nico replied, mechanically. Then he understood better the meaning of Bianca's words and blushed. «I don't…» he shut up when he realized that he didn't want to lie and he repeated what he had already said to Jason. «I have always wanted to be with Percy and I will always want it» he admitted, knowing that he had to be beet-red. «But I don't want to be with him if it will make him unhappy.»

«Oh, you're so stupid when you want to!»

Jason cleared his throat to suggest her to lower her tone, while Leo murmured something about the girls' gentleness. Bianca and Nico ignored them, too busy to stare at each other.

«I'm not stupid» he finally said, resentful.

«You are, because you're missing the most important detail» Bianca replied. «You have decided on your own that Percy would be happier with an intact reputation than with you.»

Nico opened his eyes wide, totally stunned.

«Of course he would be happier with his reputation!» he exclaimed. «I'm not worth half of that. Not even one third.»

Bianca gave him an exasperated look. Jason put on a pissed expression too, but it was Piper to speak at their place.

«I think you should really start working on your self-esteem» she commented, calmly.

Her words were supported by the others, even if only Leo and Hazel nodded openly.

Nico didn't even pretend to have listened to her. Because if he had listened to her, he would have gotten mad with her, with all of them, who seemed so incapable to accept the simple reality of the facts. Who seemed so careless about Percy's wellness, even Annabeth who was as a sister to him, and Nico couldn't bear it.

Since his eyes were getting darker, Jason found out a way to distract him, something that prevented him to lose himself in depressing and pessimist thoughts. In the end his glance stopped on Frank, who had stayed in an angle of the room with his hands in the pockets of his trousers.

«Play cards with him» he whispered an order.

«_What?_»

Frank looked surprised at him, sure to have misunderstood. He remembered to have talked a couple of time to Nico about Mythomagic, but he found absurd Jason's suggestion about playing it in the hospital.

«Every moment is right for Nico, at least it will help him to distract himself» Jason affirmed, grasping his thoughts.

Frank tried to protest again, but Nico's voice interrupted him.

«I can hear you» he grumbled.

Jason turned around without any trace of embarrass on his face. He hoped he could see his usual annoyed expression, but instead he saw the same shadow of that morning in his eyes.

He hated his impotence, knowing that only Percy could do something about it, and he knew that Bianca and Hazel were feeling the same.

«I'll play with you» he said. «I'm used to lose, so my self-esteem won't resent it. Not much.»

«You don't have to do it…»

«Nico, shut up and take the cards from your backpack.»

He seemed to get offended for a moment, but Jason's interest – everybody's interest, even Annabeth's, who was reading and not looking at him – was so palpable that he surrendered.

The night before that, Percy promised him that they would play together for all the time he wanted it, and even if the thought made his eyes wet, he fought against the tears to look at those who were so stupid to worry for him.

* * *

Monday had always been a bad day for Nico, but that morning he felt even worse that usual.

He had the sensation that every single person he came across in the hallway was staring at him and he couldn't blame them since the mirror had already confirmed him the reality: the weekend hadn't been enough to make his aspect appear less pathetically weak. He mirrored himself and he immediately looked away from the pale bruised boy who had met his eyes.

And he limped. Clearly. With a damn crutch to help him. Nico had tried to toss it away in the brushes when he left home, but seeing the stars for the pain when he touched the ground with his foot made him pick that up again.

He had just arrived at school and he was already regretting the fact that he hadn't accepted his father's invite to stay home for the week. He refused by saying that he didn't want to lose too many classes for something that would be there, when he would be back, even after a month. And – but this was an intimate thought – because after days without seeing him he needed to observe Percy's face, even in secret.

After all to be in the shades was is specialty, and he was sure that to look at him without being noticed was not a bad idea. And he wouldn't have been, if just he had realized earlier one important detail: it was almost impossible to silently get to the gym were Percy's class was with the crutch.

Nico looked through the door and saw, disappointed, that Percy, the teacher and half of his class had already gone away; when he was about to turn around and leave, a voice stopped him.

«Hey, you, what are you doing here?»

In another situation he would have run away, but the pain in his leg forced him to stay. Lacking of better ideas, he stayed still and, when the boy who had talked opened the door, he didn't turned around.

«Shouldn't you be in class right now?» he asked again.

He was not hostile and Nico gave thanks for that, he seemed just a severe and responsible class president. Feeling calm, he turned around to tell him that he was looking for the bathroom – a ridicule excuse, but always useful – when a second voice, more malignant this time, froze him.

«This is the faggot who has a thing for Percy! I'm sorry, he is already under the shower. I would tell you to join him, if the girls bathroom wasn't more adapt to you.»

Nico hated himself for having blush more than he hated Jeremy for the words he said, putting him under the general attention. There were still about ten boys in the gym and even if not all the looks were scornful, he found humiliating also those who were barely curious.

A cautious reaction would be to look down and leave, but he wouldn't have managed that even if he had tried. He felt as if he had nothing to lose and he had at least to try to defend his feelings, the only thing he had left.

«It's known that the more a man rages against homosexuality, the more the chances of him being a repressed gay are» he replied. «Is there something that you want to tell to your desk mate, Jeremy?»

His words were followed by a heavy silence and a few quick laughs. Nico continued to stare at Jeremy, with his heart beating fast and a challenging look on his face that would cost him much. He didn't even tried to pull away when the boy jerked towards him and grabbed him for the t-neck of his sweatshirt. The crutch fell at the ground with metallic noise.

«You, nasty…»

«Jeremy, come on, he is just a brat» one of his friends intervened.

«I don't care!»

«Could you at least wait until he doesn't look as if he has just left the hospital?»

«Fuck you, Mark! If someone calls me a gay he doesn't get away with it!»

Nico knew that he had gone beyond his limits, managing to make the situation critical after only two hours from the beginning of the day. But he realized that it would get even worse when the group of boys exchanged an insecure look and exited the gym not to get involved. Only five of them, included Jeremy, stayed.

«If you apologize, I may think upon not ruining that beautiful faggot face of yours» he commented, sarcastically.

«Go to Hell!»

Nico was the first one to be surprised of his aggressive reply. After widening his eyes, Jeremy reduced them to splits and pushed him away. Nico tried to get up, but his legs couldn't sustain his weight and he fell down again. He already knew what was about to happen, so he didn't say anything when the boy lifted his arm and got ready to hit him.

He shut his eyes closed, conscious that it wouldn't help with the pain but incapable to renounce at that futile form of protection. He promised himself that he wouldn't let out a single sob, stubbornly determined to defend his pride, and he hated himself when he couldn't help but moan in pain when Jeremy grabbed him from his hair and violently lifted him.

For a moment he feared that he would tear off whole locks of them, so when he suddenly left him he was too relieved to wonder why he did that. After a few seconds, anyway, it started to seem strange and he opened his eyes to see.

He was breathless, stunned by something that he didn't expect to see since Percy had never gone to visit him. But now he was there, holding Jeremy's wrist to prevent him from hitting him.

«Percy?» he murmured, surprised.

Despite the intense anger that he felt, Percy turned around to look gently at him.

«Don't worry, everything is going to be okay» he reassured him.

Nico stared at him for a couple of seconds, than his expression became alarmed.

«No, everything is _not_ going to be okay; you need to leave, now!» he exclaimed.

Percy had foreseen that reaction, but he sighed anyway.

He didn't know if he was more exasperated that Nico still preferred to perseverate in his conditions and be alone in a dangerous situation, more touched by the fact that he was doing it for what he thought was the best for him or more irritated for the way in which Nico had convinced himself that he would be better off without him.

In the end all those feelings, together with the anger and the desire, converged together. He left Jeremy and kneeled in front of Nico; then, when he was so closed that he could feel his breathe, he run his hand through his hair and kissed him.

It was not like their first kiss, which tasted like incredulity, nor like the second and the third, which had the aftertaste of fear at the thought that Ade may catch them. It was a kiss in which Percy put all those things upon which he had thought in the past days, while he hadn't seen anybody and had discovered such a pure truth that he wondered why he hadn't realized it before: he was fascinated by all that Nico was and he wanted to be always with him.

It was so simple and so perfect that, while he was kissing him, there wasn't place for anything else.

When they separated, he nestled Nico against his chest without leaving him the time to speak. Then he turned around to face the boys who were staring at them, astonished. Their shocked expression almost made him laugh, but he limited himself to a slight smile before dealing with them.

«Nico is mine» he declared. «You can be disgust or start a petition to have me removed from the swim team if you want, but the problem will be yours since you'll lose all the competitions. Do to me whatever you want, but if you try to do something to him I will get really mad. You have never seen me really mad, and I assure you that you won't like it and you won't want to repeat the experience if you go near to my boyfriend again.»

Percy looked at them while they gasped at the unfruitful research of a reply and then leaved, stumbling. He knew that once they had recovered from the initial shock they wouldn't be so harmless, but he decided to take care of that when the time would come. Now it was more important to talk to Nico.

«It was a nice move, right?» he asked, lightly.

Nico had hold on to him when Percy hugged him, but now he pulled away and gave him a furious glance.

«Idiot!» he yelled, punching him. «You moron, stupid, dumb, perfect brainless idiot!»

Each insult was accompanied by a punch, then he started assailing him. Percy grabbed his wrists and forced him to stop. He was too much stunned to get angry, and then he was breathless when Nico burst out in tears.

«You're an idiot» Nico repeated, crying. «A giant idiot. Why did you do that?»

«Because I love you, obviously.»

Percy tried to remain serious, but it was hard when Nico blushed and looked at him, shaking like a puppy who was waiting for a sign of affection. He was a mess, with his bruises, his ruffled hair and the shocked expression, but Percy found him so cute that he had to fight against the instinct to shut him up with a kiss.

«Don't look at me with those weepy eyes, please» he sighed, touching his forehead with his own. «I mean it, Nico. It's not fair.»

He took his face in his hands but Nico shook off from his grasp and hugged him tight. He was crying out loud, hidden against his chest, and Percy didn't knew the reason: happiness or desperation. He didn't ask, foreseeing that it would cost him another punch in the arm, and hugged him back.

«Good, good» he lullabied.

He kissed him on the head and smiled when Nico gave him a nasty look.

«Don't talk to me as if I was a dog» he grumbled.

Percy preferred not to admit that the comparison had come to him, too. He didn't even said that they should hurry to their classes before the bell. He just stayed there, with Nico crying and insulting him now and then, holding him close.


End file.
